Embracing My Natural Hair

Say hello my natural waves 😍

I first straightened my hair when I was ten years old. I’ll never forget that moment - the moment I stopped feeling like I was enough just as I was, and I needed to instead be something else. Prettier. Neater. More perfect.

There were of course many more of those moments with my body over the years. I shrank and plucked, shaved and tweezed. But my toughest journey has been with my hair. All my life it’s been big, loud, unruly. Like me at my true essence. Too much. I’ve since straightened it or curled it every. single. day for TWENTY years of my life.

On trips, I was terrified to get my hair wet or go even a day without styling it. I would wear it in a bun, afraid to show it. Afraid to let it out of the cage of perfection.

Until a month ago when I saw a video on Instagram (thank you @sophiemariegraf) of someone who said she was embracing her natural waves. Her hair looked like mine and I stopped in my tracks. I felt ecstatic that there was another way - I could learn to love and work with my hair rather than fight it.

In December I left the house for the first time in 20 years with my natural hair down. I felt naked, exposed. And so, so f*cking FREE.

I’m on the journey to embrace my hair (and by extension, ALL of me) EXACTLY as I am. I want to work with myself as I am, not contort myself into what I think I should be. This hair journey - of learning that underneath all the bleach and heat damage is beautiful healthy hair that falls in gorgeous waves down my back. They’ve always been right here, waiting for me to find them. What a miracle.

My natural hair is not perfect and I can’t control it, but that’s what’s beautiful about it. And isn’t that life, too? It’s not perfect and I can’t control it, and that’s why it’s beautiful.

I feel more beautiful than I ever have, and so proud. Proud of myself for taking what seems like a small action and has already rippled through the rest of my life in profound ways.

Hair, I love you. Body, I love you. Thank you for holding me and walking me through this life. I am so grateful.